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Journey with me into the abyss - an exploration of trust and feminine flow

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This idea has been brewing inside of me for many months... The knock at my door for several moon cycles now asking me to step BOLDLY into the unknown, to go against the out-of-balanced male-model thinking I've been programmed to follow and to instead follow my heart - over my fears and INTO THE NEW PARADIGM ECONOMIC MODEL.

I wouldn't listen. 

...And so the Universe was like, "fine then - you choosing this is not the only way"  and it proceeded to kick me out of the security nest and into the Abyss - by way of layoff. 

As you might be able to imagine news like losing my cushy full time corporate job, that I worked at from home (often with a nursling in my arms) while enjoying a livable salary that included paid time off, insurance and holiday vacation time, could easily spiral me and my partner into serious scarcity mode thinking. 

And believe me - we went there...

It took about a month of conversations, fights, love making and meditation to process the news and our related fears before we came to a calm acceptance and trust that everything was going to be alright. 

But how did we come to that conclusion?

I mean we both grew up within the matrix of the "EMPIRE" where a dominant network of subsidised conversations (through advertisements and media streams) constantly teach us that we are LACKING. That we do not have ENOUGH and that the world is SCARY. This network of conversations becomes culture and the culture that is lacking will need to buy more products, will need more protection and will not complain about being a worker under this rule.

However, delivering Aerowynn into this world inspired us both to BE examples of what we believe is possible for her and her life. How could we teach her about her power to manifest her dreams into reality if we were too scared to walk the path ourselves? 

Like many of you, we have studied various schools of thought that support the concept of having the ability to call into being our lives as we design them. For us this means a sustainable life that is harmonious with our highest selves, deepest purpose and pleasure. 

Everything we aspire towards and educate ourselves about within this vein was underscored by our own auspicious romance. Aero's father and I connected only after being a stand for our deepest personal integrity in our past relationships and walking away from people we loved and lives that were stable, but NOT the right fit for our soul's greatest purpose. 

We both jumped into the Abyss.

And then we met... Once we met the magick just flowed. Our daughter was consciously conceived and giving birth to her was an even greater example of how trusting and letting go brings extraordinary results.  

So we've experienced walking into the Abyss before and have found that when you do, the universe HOLDS you. We believe in the Law of Attraction and the power of a bit of faith. 

But when it came to MONEY.... Screeeeeeeeeeeeeech!!!

I still hit resistance to trust my inner voice telling me to let go of the programming that has me act from fear over passion. So I would take careful steps towards the Abyss but never actually jump in. 

But now I've been pushed. 

No more cushy job and regular income. Now just a bit of unemployment money for a small amount of time. 

Well that's not it. During my labor with Aero I felt so extraordinarily supported. I was able to be both my most vulnerable and my most powerful. My team listened to my direction and I birthed with dignity and peace. Between surges I was profoundly present to the fact that not all women are treated with such high regard during their births. And as I climbed my mountain peak I wanted all women to have the opportunity to be fully supported through the GREAT initiation into motherhood. 


Through my birthing experience I found my calling. To be a stand for women's empowerment through the love of ourselves, our bodies and by trusting our instincts, intuitions and connections to the cosmos. 

So Court and I know it's going to be all GOOD because this IS MY PATH! And we have the experience to trust that the universe will hold us and support our highest missions. Just like we were held after leaving our old lives that didn't fit and just like we were held during Aero's birth. 

So this BLACK MOON I publicly declare that I will listen to the messages I've been receiving from meditations and my birth journey and step into an advocacy and support role for women. I will do this as a way to financially support myself and my family. I will do this to help grow human consciousness and bring forth a more balanced way of existing on this planet that includes the female model and respects the female energies and experience.

From the Abyss I will report back and let you in on my experiment of shifting my thoughts from scarcity belief to faith, from linear thinking to cyclical thinking, from masculine model to feminine model. I will share how my new business is coming together, what my pitfalls are and what my successes are. With a nursling in my arms and a smartphone in my hands I will use the technology at my fingertips to redefine my version of a workday and explore a different model of being a "working" mom and a "housewife."

I hope this experiment and the posts that come after this help inspire or inform you. They will be raw and real. I think many of us are feeling the immense power of the times. This crucial juncture in human history will require all of us to powerfully SHOW UP. Here are the first steps of my contribution. May they unfold for you in an entertaining and inspiring way! 




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